The B-word, "Bitch," That is

In The Forum, Fargo, North Dakota, Friday, May 10, 2013, there appeared an article written by local journalist, Meredith Holt, entitled “The B-word.” A well-written article and the subject did need examining, I suppose, but I do take issue with it…the word, not the article.

What on earth do women want?

Well, they want respect, for one thing, and good for those who want that and get that. Most women deserve it. But are they so desperate for respect and acceptance, that they would lower themselves to okaying the use of—and being called—the B-word…“bitch,” that is?

Like football. I know some women have learned to “like” football. Why? Did they do it to earn the respect of their significant other? And if they did it for that reason, did it help? I doubt it. If there was no respect before their liking football, there very likely wouldn’t be after either. Of course there is the distinct possibility that if a woman begins liking football that she really does like it. I even know of at least one woman interviewing football players…so she must like it, and maybe even understands it.

Myself? I still get along just fine by not liking—or understanding—football, thank you very much!

Sure, as the article states, “bitch” can possibly have positive connotations, if the right person, man or woman uses it in a positive way. But probably better most often if it’s a woman saying it. This could be compared to a black man calling another black man “nigger.” It’s evidently OK if a black man says it, but racist if a white man says it.

See what I mean?

I have been in love with, given love to, and received really great love from, three wonderful women in my sometimes-very-sheltered life. Not only did I never call any of the three a bitch, I also never thought the word toward them. On the phone with one of those three once, I heard the little girl in the background scream “Bitch!” at her mother. I asked to speak to the child, and told her what I thought, and that she should never call her mother that word again. She didn’t, but before I came along she must have heard that word used by a former boyfriend in reference to her mother, which, in the child’s mind, made it okay for her to use the word too.

Name-calling is name-calling. Name-calling a woman a bitch is the lower-caste way of insulting, offending, humiliating, emotionally hurting, a woman. The one using that word evidently wants to hurt her. I don’t even believe in name-calling…well, maybe jackass, and dumbass—I know I’ve thought those words at least a few times, but never toward a woman.

Looking back, I guess I do remember calling a certain woman a bitch one time, but only in my thoughts. Had I said it to her face she probably would have kicked the shit out of me. (She was not only big but really mean-looking.)

It must sound like I think all—or most—woman are angels, or that I plain worship women.

I don’t.

Women can be scoundrels the same as men.

I think of my many nieces: I would hate to think that any of them are settling with being called a bitch, for any reason—by their husband, boyfriend, or any man—because none of my nieces match that word, not ever. And my many nephews too: I would hate to think that any would use that word to emotionally beat down their wife or girlfriend, or any other woman.

In my mind the only reason to use that word is to hurt. It will never be a politically correct or cutesy word, although I know both men and women use it, and, evidently—from reading that article—are promoting it. (I know Hollywood promotes it: e.g., in one scene from Two & a Half Men, cute little Jake, maybe 11 or 12 at the time, is on a cell phone evidently with a girl. He says, “…if you’ll be my bee-itch…” Of course daddy Alan snaps at him, but how many hundred thousand young men and more importantly young boys and girls heard that cutesy use of the word and were influenced by it?)…but, of course, we all know one day Hollywood will probably drop into the sea, unless a brand new rising volcano doesn’t get it first.

The thing is, folks, that word is going to continue meaning just what it means. If a man, or woman, calls a woman a bitch, they will mean it just like the word means, has always meant, and always will mean—Bitch!!!!

In my mind, the contemporary call to political correctness is way out-of-control, and if you think expanding and okaying the use of that word will eventually make it mean something else, well, good luck!

Unfortunately, I could be wrong, because the word is getting introduced to our young people earlier and earlier in their life.  (That’s how society gets changed: Introduce it to the young.) Young men and even younger boys are using it to refer to their young girlfriends, and some young girls are—for now at least—accepting it. Young people need to hear from their parents, ministers, teachers, about respect and honor.

As a last word (the following words inside quotation marks are verbatim from the article; thank you, Meredith) in Holt’s article she mentions artist, Kristine Wallen, who “…uses the word to describe herself as a greeting with friends, and in her collages.”

Wallen continues, “It’s just like saying, ‘Hey, girl,’ ‘Hey, sweetheart,’ ‘Hey, love,’”

Well, I’m going to have to agree with Wallen’s fifteen-year-old son. He’s evidently not a fan of the word, or of his mother using it: “Really, Mom? The B-word? Do you have to do that?” Good for him. I hope he shares those feelings with his young friends.

Thanks for reading

Author’s notes

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 In my fiction I do not try to create super-heroes, but rather bring alive common and regular people who try to find love, survive, and react to circumstances as best they can, and, usually, try to do the right thing. The books are more than one genre, from war to sex and violence to romance to humor to horror to fantasy to science fiction to adventure, I write in third-person with viewpoints by men, women, and children. 

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